"Street Devils"

The OU crew went to St. Andrews to shoot the highland games today.. and it was a bust. They've been cancelled since Thursday because of bad weather. So.. We were stuck in St. Andrews.. with nothing to do. It's a golf/tourism town. gaa..

I lucked out and found 3 young boys doing crazy flips on the beach- They said that they have a 20 member group called the street devils- they practice and perform moves out in the street and in old castle ruins/whatever/wherever. They were actually pretty amazing for being 11, 13, and 14. I got really into it and let them flip over top of me while I snapped away.. It was a good time.

And damn.. I was jealous of their moves.

Brick walls.

I feel like I'm hitting brick wall after brick wall... Today was another wasted day. The train ride that should have taken about 2.5 hours took 5 hours due to construction... so by time I got there I pretty much had to leave.. it was pointless... and another 4.5 hours back. Aye me. Everything that I'm trying to do isn't working out.. and now I'm starting to panic. I don't know how I'm going to get this documentary done with any sort of quality when I can't even start shooting. hot diggty- i'm all frazzled. haha. oh well.. I can laugh at my panic.

I'm just feeling such a heavy heart... all I want to do is spend time with people, shoot, and tell stories... and all I'm ever doing is riding the damn train and running into walls. Argghh. ok, now I've publicly vented. word to that.

Thank god for Beirut. And fresh air. And peace of mind. It's somewhere wondering around in the dark.. maybe I'll find it in the morning.

Dunbar

Went to Dunbar yesterday... it rained most of the day... bummer. I wasn't feeling on top of my game but I needed something to hand in for class... I ended up taking pictures of two older, bigger waisted men who were rebuilding part of a house... lame, I know.. but they were funny and I wanted conversation more than anything.

Childhood

Ah, youth... have you ever read Catcher in the Rye? If not, you should. I can identify with Holden Caulfield more than any other character that I've ever read about.. Oh the woes of growing up. It would be nice to hold on to childhood forever.. But maybe that's the challenge- How to be a functioning, giving, wiser adult while still holding on to the love and simple joys of childhood.. maintaining a balance. I have a Catcher in the Rye dream.. like Holden's. Ask me about it sometime. Or don't. No matter.

What kicked off the summer.

Here are some polaroids from the very start of the summer- I finished my final exam at school on Thursday, went home and packed, left for Pennsylvania on Friday to spend time with family at our cabin, drove to NYC on Sunday to work and exist for a month, came home for a week, flew to Scotland on July 15th, and here I am. whoaa. My living situation has felt so temporary for longer than I'm used to. I feel like I'm constantly hopping from here to there.

Pushing the button in NYC

I just remembered that I had these polaroids from when I was in NYC this summer... just randomness.

From Scotland with love.

First week is gone.. time is flying by so quickly. I'm starting to feel the weight of time heavily upon my head...

Scotland is so beautiful... I feel like I'm in a fantasy land.. I'm deeply, madly in love with the land. I understand why the people here have so much love for their homeland.

The people have been wonderful- tonight I was invited into a restaurant in which I had been photographing the outside... the Italian chef was off of work and invited my friend and I in for a cup of coffee and conversation. I explained how a camera worked.. where I was going with it all... And then it began.. The argument over whether global warming really exists or is a scam... hahaha. never argue with an Italian chef. You can't get a word in... but still. It was the best coffee I've had here- that's not saying too much though. They have dark, espresso (<--revised: thank you johnny hahaha), espresso with water in it, and cappuccino. I miss american coffee shops. dang.

I'm feeling so much doubt... I want to make the most of my time here. I'm so scared of disappointing myself and not being able to produce good work... oh well. The stress of school is heavy. oh well... I need to just shoot and love.

I haven't had a lot of time to tone pictures... so here's a few. I haven't gotten started with my documentary yet.. it's been all research and networking... I should have better things to post soon when I dive in.

I hope everyone is doing well- life is so lovely :)

peace and love.

"Ohio, I'm leaving. Ohio, I'm gone."

I feel like a blur...

oh my heart.. oh my stomach.. they're both in my throat.

"Ohio, I'm leaving. Ohio, I'm gone."

wish I had time to actually write.. ah well. Scotland here I come... unbelievable.